Blog

March 2018

Life is as light as a feather to one who has renounced his over-exaggerated pride. – Chinmaya

Ego is an entity born out of Self-ignorance. Hence it can only make our life miserable.

Our ego deludes and misleads us, making a boulder of even ordinary situations in life.

The vision of life:

The mind of an egoistic man is like a lacerated wound oozing with pus and blood of negativities like anger, greed etc. When such an unhealthy mind makes contact with the outer world, the result is pain.

Mental wound (ego) + worldly contact = mental disturbance

An egoistic person, being an extrovert, is unaware of his sick mind. He sees only the gross worldly situations and thus blames the world for his misery. According to him, he is a “Perfect man in this imperfect world.”  Like the one who wears dark glasses sees everything dark, a person’s dark egoistic mind makes him believe that except him, nobody is right. Misguided by this ego, he becomes a self-coronated world teacher and his life becomes a mission in setting others right.

Definition of happiness:

An egoistic person is absolutely unaware of the higher joys of life – the joy of cooperation, of service, of forgiveness, of surrender, of devotion, of loving and sharing, of peace and tranquillity.

The joys the ego is aware of are: the joy of defeating, of being praised, of taking revenge, of sensuous indulgences, of belittling others, of gossip, of bossing over others etc. Ego’s definition of happiness is – “Boost the ego, and expand your joy.”

 Whole life the egoistic person beats his own drum of achievements in seeking happiness.

The end result? An egoistic man remains a beggar of happiness. A little praise – he is above the clouds; a little criticism – he is buried underground in sorrow! The key to his happiness is in everyone else’s pocket! Like a football, he is kicked hither and thither. Like a puppet, he is made to dance to others’ tunes. The balloon of his happiness is ever ready to burst at the slightest pin-pricks of life.

For an egoistic man, peace of mind is ever a distant dream.

 Way of Life:

An egoistic person always compares and competes. He compares himself with others around him – be it looks, possessions or positions. He always craves to be the first and the best in all fields. He expects his children to be super-humans excelling in sports, studies and all other extracurricular activities. This puts a lot of unnecessary pressure upon him.

If only he is aware of how much he suffers because of his ego! Wrapped up totally within the spicy encasement of egocentric delusions, soaked fully in the boiling oil of sky-high ambitions, his ego fries him like a ‘pakoda’ over the self-created fire of cut-throat competitions.

His attention is always on what he doesn’t have. Discontentment never leaves him. Gratitude never finds him. Surrendering to God is unknown to him. Not knowing that he is sitting in the Godly train, he burdens himself with the worldly luggage on his head, and vainly boasts himself to be a ‘self-made man.’

His ego doesn’t even allow him to accept old age with grace. Whether grey hairs or wrinkles – he is quick to hide it from public notice, thanks to beauty parlours and saloons. He feels insulted when he is addressed as ‘uncle’ and refuses help while climbing the staircase.  

During conversation:

An egoistic person is like the peak of a mountain; the water of knowledge hardly gathers there. He thinks he knows everything. Even if he becomes aware of his ignorance, his ego will not allow him to admit it in front of others.

Even the little knowledge that an egoistic person has is of no much use to him. There is much show of his erudition and scholarship. If the other person doesn’t agree with him, he turns the discussion into an argument.

He argues – not to know, but to win. He has no patience to listen to the viewpoint of others. Even when he pretends to listen, deep within he is preparing the counter-arguments to defeat his opponent.

Or, the conversation very soon zeroes down to his personal heroisms. He is so full of himself that he wants to talk only about himself. He will go on and on with his adventures and achievements. Many times he forgets that he has told the same stuff to the same person umpteen times!

He is so engrossed about himself that the expressions of boredom and restlessness on the face of the listeners are never even noticed by him. Many times the listener feels more like an unchained prisoner, though externally, out of social obligation, he pretends to be an interested learner!

Soon everyone avoids him and he finds himself suffocating and bored in the self-created prison of loneliness, thanks to his self exaggerated pride.

Decision making:

A wise person makes a decision in life by asking himself: “Do I need it? Will it be useful for me?”

On the other hand, an egoistic person is bothered only by one question: “What will others think of me?” His whole life as though is spent living in the fear of others.

Thus, despite his poor economic status, he lives in posh bungalows and roams around in luxurious imported cars. He takes great pride in attending all public functions with his wife on his side wearing diamond and platinum studded jewellery. His children study in prestigious International schools. He is very active on Facebook and Whatsapp, posting photos of his adventures and world-tours. With too much of pomp and show, his whole life is a non-stop attempt to declare to the whole world that he is successful, happy and prosperous.

There is a wise saying: “An egoistic person buys things which he doesn’t want, to impress people whom he doesn’t like, with the money which he doesn’t have”!!

Trying to feed his ever-bloating ego, he is stressed out wondering how to make both ends meet. Soon, he engages himself in all corrupt malpractices and immoral trades to make extra money, not knowing that through such unlawful ways, he is only jumping from the frying pan to burning fire.

He finds great pride in calling himself a part of the ‘elite, cream class of the society.’ He keeps regular contact with the influential and the famous, never forgetting to post the selfies with them in social media. The drink served in the late-night parties becomes the panacea for the day-long egoistic exhaustions.

With parties and drinks, worries and anxieties, diabetes and blood pressure, he looks like a man of sixty, though hardly he has crossed forty.  

In relationships:

An egoistic person has only one philosophy: “Either my way or hit the highway.”

He is a man of extremes. Others opine about him thus: “If he likes you, then he will lick and kill you; and if he hates you, then he will kick and kill you!”

Either way, for the other, death is sure!

He is adamant in his belief system. For him, he alone is right. Hence he forcefully implements it upon his near and dear ones. If they don’t accept his suggestions, then he takes it as an insult and will not even hesitate to break the relationship. He suffocates the life of all who depend upon him.

He is the last person to admit his mistakes and say, “I am sorry.” He will always have innumerable justifications lined up to prove that he was always right.

But when others make mistakes, he will never miss the opportunity to say, “See! I told you!”

If someone hurts him, he is quick to retaliate. ‘Tit for tat’ is his way of life. Revenge alone is the balm which heals his wounded pride. In the process, he creates false friends and true enemies around him waiting for their turn to retaliate.

About people, he is extremely biased. Only his sycophants find themselves in his inner circle. But his critics – even though they may be knowledgeable people or his well-wishers – are mercilessly shown the door. Thus his ego digs for him his grave of self-destruction.

The worst part of the whole story is: Despite that Infinite, Immortal Lord being right there in his heart as his own Self, his ego expels Him out and rules his heart, thus denying him the infinite joy of his own true nature.

What greater tragedy can there be in his life that, in spite of being rich, thanks to his ego, he lives and dies so poor!!

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